Thursday 31 December 2009

Gummer jumps from Cameron ship

For some of us old enough to remember him feeding his daughter a burger packed with mad cow meat just days before all British beef and livestock was banned from sale around the world on his patch, the thought of John Gummer being a political asset is laughable.
However on Dave's ship of fools, he's been a steady navigator of the Tories Green revolution, while Zac no-to-tax Goldsmith presents the pretty West London demeanor Cameron's chums are so fond of.
If Blair's Cool Britannia was a bit like a black tie indie Islington house party, then Cameron's is a bunch of West London trustafarians wearing Llama hats and listening to Sadé, who heard the Environment was important in a tent at The Big Chill. But I digress.
Gummer has been so appalled by the outcome of Copenhagen that he's decided to ditch the Tory party and instead work full time on saving the world. Worrying to think that Britain's role in the future green economy may be determined by this nincompoop, but at least he's getting off his arse and doing something.
The other reason Gummer departed was his disappointment at the continued voices of Global Warming disbelief from within the Tory ranks. The instinct of big business still runs rife through Dave's modern Conservative army, and big business knows that the primary deliverer of any future green deal will be itself.
So Gummer oddly believes he can achieve more by being outside of Dave's UK Government rather than inside of it. Rather like Zac feels he can achieve more by being outside of the British tax system than within it.
So little, it seems, has really changed under Dave.
He's pretending to be just like you. He even believes he's just like you. But he isn't.

Wednesday 30 December 2009

Cameron is not a clown



a) because even clowns put on their own make up

b) because even clowns know what's really going on behind the smile.

Dave doesn't. Because Dave's part of a conspiracy. He's pretending to be just like you. But he isn't.

Cameron set to give hunting with dogs back to the rich

Despite pretending that he doesn't support hunting with dogs, Dave knows that the real rich that support him think these kind of views put him rather too close to the white dredz and pill-popping fields of his youth.

While Dave's trustafarian connections keep him on the cool side of countryside killing, he assumes this means that fox hunting isn't a political argument. He can cover up this division in his ranks by calling it a personal decision - one so personal that despite it being a law Dave supports, he's willing to give all his new Tory MP friends the chance to overturn it the moment he gets into power.

Putting a "personal" policy that affects so few of us in the mix for year one of the new Conservative government shows not how important the rich see their inability to a good old-fashioned blood-stained tally-ho, as much as how closely Dave's Conservative party is still so eager to please them.

That's because Dave's part of a conspiracy. The Cameron Conspiracy. He's pretending to be just like you. He even believes he's just like you. But he isn't.